Oxford dictionary defines “deal” as “an agreement entered into by two or more parties for their mutual benefit, especially in a business or political context.” It defines “submission” as “the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.” Tell me, according to these definitions, did Borko Stefanović make a deal or did he sign a submission to Edita Tahiri in Brussels on Thursday?
Serbia’s government officials, Eurofanatics and other NGO mercenaries in Serbia are gloating over the fact that Serbia de facto recognized the independence of its southern province of Kosovo, confidently rewriting dictionary entries to conform to the current needs of the spin machine. Of course, they can’t admit that Serbia indeed recognized Kosovo as equal to Serbia in international relations with this “deal,” so it’s best to redefine the actual term. No, what you thought of as a “deal” is not “deal” anymore; if you get raped, we’ll call it a “deal” because we feel you could have gotten killed, so in effect, you cut a “deal” with your rapist, who decided it’s for the mutual benefit that he just rapes you and spares your life. Borko Stefanović, in the meantime, successfully auditioned for a job in Brussels, just in case the whole EU candidacy farce deservedly crumbles again. Dictionary.com also defines a “deal” as “a secret or underhand agreement or bargain” and in this sense, Stefanović did make a deal. If Stefanović gets hired, Božidar Đelić, the former Minister for European Integrations, will be pissed because he had to audition for 12 years, and he can make the case that he was at least as successful as Stefanović, maybe not in the domain of Eurointegrations, but definitely in the area of disintegration of Serbia. Who screwed Serbia more, Đelić or Stefanović, is a question history will answer, I’m afraid incorrectly, since it looks like Noel Malcolm will write our history.
Going back to the original question, it is important to dwell on the definitions for a moment. I didn’t draw the two words out of a hat. The official Serbia has been flaunting the word “deal” to describe the cunnilingus that took place in Brussels yesterday. According to Oxford dictionary, “cunnilingus” means “stimulation of the female genitals using the tongue or lips.” If we want to be honest, Borko Stefanović did just that to Edita Tahiri, but I needed a term with less of a personal and more of a political connotation, so, after checking several potential matches, I settled on “submission.” Let us not misinterpret it, still. The key difference between the figurative cunnilingus performed and the submission I will describe, was in that the cunnilingus was not a forced act, while submission can be forced and unforced. Therein lies the defeat of Serbia: Stefanović’s submission was not forced, but deceptively incentivized, deceptively for the naïve people of Serbia.
What exact gains did Borko bring Serbia in the advertised “deal?” I remind you, in order for it to be a deal, it had to bring mutual benefits of the parties involved. The Albanian side clearly won all the concessions, but how did Serbia benefit? There were three conditions, in this round of the subjugations process, upon which the granting of the EU candidacy stood, and all three involved Kosovo: (1) stop blocking the Albanian separatist “state” from taking part in regional conference, i.e. stop pretending it is not independent; (2) the execution of the December agreement on the integrated operations of the administrative crossings, i.e. let Albanian customs officer control the crossings they didn’t control before; and (3) remove the roadblocks from North Kosovo, i.e. allow EULEX to occupy the area and to exercise its imposed mandate over the majority Serb-inhabited part. With the footnote of without it, Kosovo, whose independence Boris Tadić “staunchly” and “adamantly” does not recognize, will be sitting next to Serbia, as an equal, in 36 international initiatives, according to Kosovo’s Deputy Foreign Minister. (Hey, I don’t like calling him that either, but how else will the official Serbia address him in regional conferences?) If that is not recognition, then I don’t know what is. According to Glas Srpske, Petrit Selimi, the man holding the title above I uttered with heaviness of the heart, said the following to Serbian reporters (in my translation):
“Kosovo will not be an observer, not an adjoined member, but a full-fledged member, with the ratification powers… The footnote is just a word, and it is more important that we’ve become a member of the [international] organizations.”
Boris Tadić, saw the “deal” quite differently:
“Kosovo will not be presented in regional fora and institutions as an independent country, but in line with UN Resolution 1244 on Kosovo and the opinion of the International Court of Justice.” (Source: B92)
Did they read the same agreement?
Now, if Serbia is an independent state and Kosovo has the same participation rights as the independent Serbia, or, in other words, if Serbia will not have any influence over decisions and attitudes such Kosovo puts forward in these international initiatives, aren’t they equal? Did Boris Tadić not allow Kosovo to have the same international status before the world as Serbia has? If the footnote in effect does not abridge Kosovo’s participation in any way and if Hashim Thaci has said numerous times that the UN Resolution 1244 did not bind him, which dumb Serb will believe Tadić’s rhetorical gibberish? What has changed the official position of Serbia from Vuk Jeremić’s insistence on blocking Kosovo to Stefanović accepting it gladly? The footnote? Give me a break.
Borko Stefanović inadvertently revealed how much of a “deal” this actually was:
“It is clear now that all the criteria set by the European Council for Serbia to get the EU candidate status have been fulfilled.” (Source: B92)
So, he signed off on all the demands, literally going down on not only Tahiri, but the rows of Brussels eurocrats, effectively bringing Serbia down with him for all the cunnilingi and the fellatios. The Oxford linguists would probably support my figurative references to the oral sex instances, but the long English faces would frown upon the “deal” redefinition, in any language. What Borko Stefanović did in Brussels was in no way a deal, and did not benefit Serbia in the slightest, but it was subordination to the will of Serbia’s Western European and Albanian enemies.
While Stefanović was performing the cunnilingus in Brussels, Serbia’s special police hidden behind face masks attacked and removed the roadblock at Jarinje. It was a clear sign that the official Belgrade meant business, that both Brussels and Priština could trust it in advancing their agenda. If it wasn’t so tragic, it would be hilarious.
And while the EU candidacy was again positioned as the paramount goal, worth all the humiliations and masochism, didn’t Tadić claim that all the conditions had been met before the December Ninth decision as well?